This is an excerpt from Noah Smith's adaptation of BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. The complete script is available by clicking HERE.
The primary set is the great room in the BEAST’s palace. Ornate and fabulous. To one side a dining room table, to the other a bed (ideally canopy). One entrance from the outside, one from elsewhere in the castle. Along the back wall are holes through which actors can thrust their arms to carry torches. Ideally a curtain or window which can be used for a surprise reveal.
The forestage will represent many other locations. The only permanent piece there should be a rose bush or two. This bush may look theatrical but should have one practical element -- a rose can be plucked from it.
The place is France, the time is the 1700s. None of the characters speak with French accents, though.
At rise, the table is set for an elegant dinner. Covered dishes. Arms are thrust through the holes, holding unlit torches.
A TERRIBLE STORM is heard outside.
FATHER enters, battered by the storm. He carries a lit torch. STORM SOUNDS grow quieter as he speaks.
FATHER
Excuse me. Excuse me. Is anybody home? I’m so terribly sorry to burst in like this but the storm is just so ... My, awfully dark in here.
(Shouting.)
Hope you don’t mind if I light a torch here.
FATHER lights one torch. The hand holding that torch moves to light the next one and so on down the line.
FATHER
Oh my! What ... just what manner of house have I stumbled into here?
(Sees the opulence of the space.)
Oh! Oh my! This is a palace! I don’t belong here, I should --
MAJOR DOMO enters. A perfectly dressed servant. Essentially genderless, though male pronouns will be used in stage directions.
DOMO
Please, stay.
FATHER
Oh, excuse, is this your home?
DOMO
I am the Major Domo here.
FATHER
The what?
DOMO
The head servant. It is my pleasure to offer you shelter from the storm. No doubt you are hungry and would like to eat.
DOMO double-claps his hands. Arms rise from the table top. One pours from a pitcher into a goblet. One lifts the cover off of the platter. The food and drink should be pantomime.
FATHER
Oh. I couldn’t impose.
DOMO
Not at all. It is our very great pleasure.
FATHER
Well, it does look delicious and I am ...
FATHER dashes to the table and wolfs down the food.
DOMO
Please eat your fill ... and when you are tired, spend the night in this bed.
Upon hearing the word “tired,” FATHER suddenly seems very sleepy.
FATHER
Bed ... yes ...
FATHER stumbles towards the bed and collapses in it.
DOMO claps his hands. SERVANTS emerge from under the table. They bow and exit. During his next line, DOMO walks by the torches with a bucket of___: water, extinguishing them. Once their torches are out, the arms holding them go away.
DOMO
He is asleep, master.
THE BEAST enters. He is fully cloaked, so the audience cannot see his face.
BEAST
Who is he?
DOMO
A traveler. A merchant ... perhaps I should start at the beginning.
(Gestures. A MAGICAL SOUND.)
Once M’sieur Coctea, here, was one of the wealthiest merchants in all of Paris. His daughters lived a life of luxury.
At DOMO’s behest, scenes are played out on the forestage. CELINE and YVETTE sweep on. They are dressed finely (perhaps wigs, wraps, pieces that can be removed quickly for their upcoming transition to poverty).
CELINE
Oh! I am so exhausted.
YVETTE
Yeah. I hate it when I have to get up before noon.
CELINE
Hey, you made the appointment at the nail salon.
DOMO
These are his daughters. And these are his daughters’ suitors.
A group of SUITORS (MALE SOS) enter, with GUILLAUME and PIERRE.
PIERRE
Celine, this is becoming egregiously farcical. Which of us do you intend to marry?
GUILLAUME
Yeah, and Yvette, are you going to marry me or what? I mean, like, we’re both so good looking, it just makes sense, you know.
SUITOR 1
No way! Yvette is marrying me!
SUITOR 2
Yeah, and Celine is going to marry me!
SUITOR 3
Nu-uh! I’m marrying Celine, you can all go home.
SUITOR 4
And Yvette is way more into me than any of you guys.
Ad-lib argument.
CELINE
Stop stop stop! I could think about this better if somebody gave me a chocolate!
SUITOR 5
Here you go!
(Offers her a chocolate from a box)
YVETTE
And some water.
___ÿ
SUITOR 6
Right here!
(Holds a glass of water to her lips and tilts it for her to drink.)
YVETTE
That’s great, thanks.
CELINE
Silly boys. Neither of us can marry any of you. We are far too important to marry common boys like you. We’re both waiting for a Duke or a Prince to sweep us off our feet.
YVETTE
Yeah, or at least somebody who’s got, like, a whole lot of money ... and jewels and stuff.
CELINE
I suppose that would be all right.
YVETTE
Yeah, that’d be great.
CELINE and YVETTE exit on one side. The SUITORS, except GUILLAUME and PIERRE exit, ad-libbing disappointment.
GUILLAUME
I really wanted to marry Yvette. She was like ... I dunno, like awesome.
PIERRE
Do not despair my friend. There is yet cause for us to hope.
GUILLAUME
But they said they’d only marry rich guys. We’re not rich.
PIERRE
Not at present no, but we have an advantage the girls’ other suitors do not -- that happens to be my very great brain and cunning intellect. I happen to have a scheme that will surely make us a vast fortune in no time.
GUILLAUME
Really? How?
PIERRE
Walk with me as we talk.
(They start to go.)
Are you familiar with the shape of an Egyptian pyramid?
GUILLAUME
Um ... no.
PIERRE
This could take a while.
They are gone.
BEAST
This man’s daughters displease me.
DOMO
One moment. The man has one other daughter you should see.
BEAUTY enters, reading a book. She is dressed much more plainly than her sisters.
BEAST
She’s ... lovely.
DOMO
She is the Merchant’s youngest daughter. Her name is Jeanne-Marie, but everyone calls her Beauty, for obvious reasons.
BEAUTY’S FRIENDS (Female SOS) enter.
FRIEND 1
Beauty! There you are! Why’d you leave?
BEAUTY
Oh, I’m sorry. I was going to come right back out. I just had to finish this chapter.
FRIEND 2
What are you reading?
BEAUTY
Oh, just a silly old novel I suppose, but you know how I get when I read a story about love at first sight.
FRIEND 3
There she goes again.
BEAUTY
I know. I know. But I just think it’s the most romantic idea imaginable. Can you just think of it? Seeing somebody for the first time and knowing then and there that you want to spend the rest of your life with him?
FRIEND 4
You think that’ll happen to you someday.
BEAUTY
I know it will.
Four of the SUITORS come in.
SUITOR 7
(To his friends.)
Look, if Celine and Yvette won’t marry us, there’s no way Beauty will. She’s way better than either of them.
SUITOR 8
But she’s a lot nicer.
SUITOR 9
Somebody ought to try!
SUITOR 10
Fine! I will!
(To BEAUTY)
Beauty, I know a guy like me doesn’t deserve a guy like you, but ... will you marry me.
BEAST
Oh, Jacques, don’t be silly. Of course a guy like you deserve happiness but I ... I ... well, I just can’t get married before my two older sisters.
Ad-lib disappointed understanding from the SUITORS. They exit.
FRIEND 5
Is that really true, Beauty? Is that why you can’t marry any of them?
BEAUTY
Maybe it was a little white lie. They’re all very sweet. And maybe I could even learn to love them. But it’s just not ...
FRIENDS
Love at first sight.
BEAUTY
Exactly.
FRIEND 6
Hey, if you’re not going to marry any of them ... do you mind if we do?
BEAUTY
I guess not.
Her FRIENDS get very excited and dash off, in pursuit of the SUITORS, ad-libbing as they go.
DOMO
Their life seemed idyllic. But bad news came in with the tide.
DOMO gestures and FATHER rises and joins the action on the forestage.
FATHER
Beauty, there you are! Celine! Yvette! Please come in here.
CELINE AND YVETTE enter.
CELINE
What is it father? We were preparing for the ball tonight!
FATHER
Well, I ... I’m sorry to say we won’t be welcome at the ball tonight. Girls I ... I don’t know ... well I’m not sure how to say this ... We’re broke.
BEAUTY
Oh, Father!
CELINE
We’re what?
YVETTE
Wait ... what’s broken? Can we fix it.
CELINE
No, you idiot! Broke means we don’t have any money! That is what you’re saying, right father? No money? How could you do this to us?
FATHER
Well, Celine, dear, I didn’t ... well I ... it’s just been several disasters,. Some business folded. Some ships got lost, some got pirated --
CELINE
Oh! I am not hearing this! Father, congratulations, you have ruined our lives! Wait! Maybe we can catch those boys now! Come on!
YVETTE
Okay!
CELINE and YVETTE run out.
FATHER
Beauty, I’m so sorry to disappoint you.
BEAUTY
Father, you haven’t disappointed me. I don’t care about the money. I’m more worried about you.
FATHER
Thank you, Beauty. I’m fine. And I’ll always be fine, as long as I have you.
The SUITORS run on, followed by CELINE and YVETTE.
CELINE
Stop! Stop! We have news.
YVETTE
Yeah. News. It’s great.
CELINE
We’ve decided we will marry you. Any one of you. Doesn’t matter which.
YVETTE
I kinda like redheads.
CELINE
You’ll take anyone who will take us!
SUITOR 1
Sorry girls. We heard about you losing all your money.
SUITOR 2
Suddenly, we’re not that interested in you anymore. Bye.
SUITORS all exit. CELINE and YVETTE start crying. FATHER cries, too. BEAUTY comforts all three. They break and adjust for the next vignette as DOMO talks.
DOMO
The family had to sell its large house near Paris and move out to a small one in the country. The could no longer afford servants, so the family did all the household chores by themselves. Well ... some o f them did.
BEAUTY is now wearing an apron, or something to make her look peasant-like. She is sweeping. CELINE and YVETTE, looking poorer now, enter.
CELINE
I have never been so bored in my life!
YVETTE
I know! For five minutes today, I didn’t have anything to do but sit there and think. I didn’t like it.